


All By Myself

by Klementine369



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Child Death, Death, Gay Male Character, Gore, M/M, Original Character(s), POV Jean Kirstein, Swearing, Teenage Parents, Violence, Weapons, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, i don't go to graphic but remember this is a zombie au, there will be blood and violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6445273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klementine369/pseuds/Klementine369
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been over a year since the zombie apocalypse started. Seventeen year old Jean Kirschtein has been in three groups by this point, all ending horribly. Due to these misfortunes he has decided to avoid other people, that is until he saved Marco Bodt and his child Sunny. Marco is too nice to let Jean leave. Jean cares to much to stay. </p>
<p>The zombie apocalypse AU no one asked for!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Longer Alone

So I have a problem. Out of the three groups I’ve been in, I’m the only one still alive. I guess that makes me the unluckiest-luckiest man alive. I’m not sure what it is about me that is so unlucky. I mean, one minute we were eating food around the fire, and the next thing I know, one of the members of my group is getting their face eaten off. Crazy I know.

Due to this fact, I’ve decided to keep to myself. My loneliness isn’t worth other people's lives. Maybe I’m a paranoid idiot, maybe it was just some messed up coincidence, but I'm not taking my chances. That’s why I’m walking through the woods alone; trying to find somewhere to sleep tonight, because the last place I was stayed at got overrun. Like I said, I'm one lucky guy. 

I should probably back up a bit. My name is Jean Kirschtein, I’m seventeen years old, and it’s been one year since the zombie apocalypse started. Pretty normal right? I wish I could tell you how it started, but sadly my local news caster got eaten before he could tell us. So everything I know about them is self-taught.  


This is what I can tell you: they like flesh. It doesn’t matter the kind of animal, as long as it is reasonably fresh meat. They don’t eat each other though. I think whatever is causing them to come back is a deterrent. 

When I say “come back” I don’t mean rise from the grave moaning “BRAAAAAAINS.” When you get bitten by one of them you get a horrible fever and die, then after you die, you come back to eat your friend's face. 

I’m not sure how it all started, but when it happened it happened fast. One day the news was warning about a new illness spreading through the country, the next I was running from my home all by myself. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, for now all you need to know is that by the time we got to where we were told to relocate it was overrun. 

I won’t sicken you with the details of how I lost my family and my other two groups. Instead I’ll bore you with my current predicament: finding a place to sleep. I’ve slept in trees before, but I try to avoid it. It’s hard to sleep when you’re worried you'll fall in the middle of the night. Old houses are the best, but are a pain to make sure they’re clear before you sleep. It’s not good for my blood pressure. An old car works well enough. You’d be shocked at how many of those are just laying around. Sadly before I was able to find a good resting place I hear the voice of a man screaming for help. 

Now this might make me a bad person, but I’m not too keen on rushing to people's rescue for quite a few reasons. One of the key ones is that with my luck, we’d probably both end up dead. I like living, despite what you might think. Also, people are assholes. It could be a trap to kill me and take all my things. But I wasn't going to be finding anywhere to sleep anytime soon, especially with him yelling and attracting more. So against my better judgment, I ran after the noise. 

I told you it was a bad idea. The noise was coming from a small house. There were about fifteen dead zombies lying on the ground. As I got closer I saw the cause of the noise. There were six zombies on the front porch, all trying to get to whatever was behind a table turned onto its side. I figured that that was where the screaming guy was hiding. 

Six zombies isn’t that many if you can get the upper hand, and the house looked like it could be a good place to sleep, so I readied my knife and snuck up onto the porch. As long as I had the element of surprise on my side this won’t be too hard. 

I walked up to the first Zombie, a woman who looked pretty ripe, and plunged my knife into her temple. I slid the knife out and went to work on the remaining five. I kicked back a male zombie as I knifed another female zombie, then making quick work on the one I had kicked back. By this time the remaining three had decided I was an easier meal than the man behind the table. One tall male zombie had grabbed hold of my left arm and was trying to pull it into its mouth. Let's say I put an end to that real quick. The next one wasn't so easy. It was another tall male zombie, and it quickly had me pinned against the wall of the house. It took all of my strength to keep it from biting my face off. 

That's when I noticed the man behind the upturned table had decided to make an appearance. He was a little taller than me and had black hair. He was wearing a wife beater and khaki shorts. I would have judged his fashion sense if it weren't the apocalypse, you can't really go clothes shopping now can you, or if I wasn't about to be food. He stabbed the other remaining female zombie in the head before turning to me.

This was the telling moment. He had two options. He could leave me to be eaten. After all, he had no real reason to save me. Moral obligation? No. Morals can get you killed. Or he could save me. Why? Cause of the stupid morals we just talked about, or because he wanted to kill me himself and take my stuff. Tough world man. 

Thankfully he chose the latter option. He stabbed the zombie pinning me to the wall and I was free. I raised my knife up, readying myself if he wanted to fight. "Whoa, buddy, lower the knife! I don't want to fight. Thanks for saving me." He had his hands up in defense. Up close I could see the splattering of freckles across his cheeks and shoulders. He was pretty cute. 

I gave him my scariest look. I didn't want to be mean, but if he knew what was good for him he'd stay away. "I'm Marco! What's your name?" I considered giving him a fake, but it's not like anyone that knows me is alive. "Jean. Want to tell me how this all happened?" 

He looked away from me and rubbed under his nose. "Telling you means trusting you, and I think we both know how dangerous trust is." Pinching the bridge of my nose I sighed. "If you tell me, I'll help you sweep the house. Deal?" Marco looked me over, trying to find any deceit in my words. 

He sighed. "I was trying to find a safe place for my daughter, Sunny, and I to hide. I killed all those zombies on the yard before I was cornered. Sweetie, it's safe to come out now." I turned my head to find the most adorable little girl I’ve ever seen appear from behind the table. Her face, framed by wavy black hair, was covered in the same soft freckles as Marco's. She wore a pair of shorts with butterflies on the left leg, a small Dora backpack, and a dirty pink shirt. She stood clutching a small teddy bear to her chest, avoiding looking at me. 

Sparing a glance at Marco to make sure he knew I had good intentions, I kneeled down in front of her. "Hello little girl, I'm Jean, what's your name?" She looked at her father, questioning if she should answer. He gave her a small nod and smiled. She looked down and started playing with a loose thread on her bear. "My name is Sunny. Thank you for saving my daddy." 

"You're welcome. He saved me too." I looked up to give him a small smile. "Are you going to stay the night here with us?" I heard her ask meekly. I got up then. "I don't think I should." I don't think I could bare the guilt if these two got hurt because of me, especially her. 

Here's the thing about little kids: they are the most dangerous things in the apocalypse. Some are young and helpless, so you can't leave their side or they'll become food. The other danger is what they do to your emotions. Children are like bright lights in this world, bringing joy to everyone who sees them and gives hope for the future. 

In this world you see children die horrible deaths, not just physically, but mentally. A child is no longer a child after this. They are stripped clean of the innocents they held before, by means of gore and brutality. Seeing a child's light go out ruins you. You take away mankind's greatest hope. 

Enough melodrama. The idea of seeing this sweet family getting torn to pieces made me sick. "You can have the house. Promise to keep her safe, alright?" With that, I started to walk off the porch, tripping over the dead as I went. As I reached the first step I felt a hand on my arm. I looked down to see Marco grabbed the upper sleeve of my jacket. I looked up into his eyes. They were a soft honey brown, and filled with worry. 

"Jean, where are you going to sleep tonight?" 

"Don't know." 

"I do. You're staying here. After tonight we can forget we ever crossed paths, but right now you need to stay. We both know going out alone at night is suicidal. Besides you said you'd help me sweep the house, remember?"

I shook off his arm. I looked at my black Chuck Taylors, eyeing the hole in the left one. If there's something I don't do, it's going back on a promise. Breaking promises is a good way to make enemies, and I'm not about to get stabbed. "I'll help you sweep the house. Got a special way to do it?" Marco gave me a wide grin. "Don't get bit. The main reason why I want your help is because I can't keep an eye on her and search the house." I glanced over to Sunny and sighed. 

"Stay out here with her. I'll sweep the house." Marco opened his mouth in protest. "Don't argue with me. I want her safe, okay?" I looked into his eyes, hoping that my own convey my emotions. "Okay. If you need help just yell for me." I smiled and turned toward the door. 

So here's a crash course on how to check a house for zombies. First you have to make a loud noise at the entrance to try to lure them out. I proceeded to do so by knocking on the door frame and listened for the moans of the undead. When I didn't hear anything, I moved on to step two: stop being a wussy and go in and look around. I hate this step. 

I walk in, knife at the ready. The house was well lit, so that was a plus. Looking around I could tell who ever lived here left quickly. Clothes were on the floor, chairs left out, food abandoned and rotting. I didn't find any gore in the joined kitchen and living room area, so I moved on to the rest of the house. 

Thankfully there were only three other rooms in the house. There was a hallway to my right with two doors, and one unopened door in front of me. I walked over to the door and knocked on it, listening for any sign of 'life' from the other side. When I didn't hear anything I reached for the doorknob, knife at the ready, slowly turning it. Opening the door quickly I looked inside, relieved to see nothing but a small bathroom. 

One room down, two more to go. 

I continue my way down the hall. Hallways are the worst. If anything wants to sneak up behind you, you're not left with many options for escaping. I came to the first door to the hallway and knocked on it, not hearing anything. I open the door, find that it had a small bed and was decorated with an assortment of baseball paraphernalia, but, thankfully, no signs of the living dead. 

Closing that door, I moved the final one. Knocking on it, I heard some rustling from the other side. Third times the charm I suppose. Since I have backup today, I decided to use it. Moving back into the living room, I called for him to come in. 

Knife at the ready, Marco walked into the house with Sunny following behind him. "The other two rooms are empty, but there's a noise coming from the third; thought I'd have some backup in here when I open it." Marco looked uneasy about the idea of something being inside the house. Sighing, he finally responded. "Yeah, let's do it." 

We walked back toward the door. We had Sunny stand about eight feet away from the door while we made our plan of attack. "I'll open the door and you be ready to stab what's in there." Marco suggested. Well it's the best plan we could think of. "Sounds like a plan. Sunny stay back, okay?" I turned to look at the little girl. She nodded in understanding and hugged her bear close. I gave her a smile and turned toward the door. Marco already had his hand on the doorknob. "Ready?"

I took a deep breath, and raised my knife. "Ready." Marco quickly opened the door and I moved forward, ready for whatever was in the room. 

Well, I was very happy with our find. Sitting in the middle of the room was a big raccoon, munching on some old food. I lowered my knife and laughed. "Stupid raccoon got us worked up over nothing." Marco shut the door. "I guess we'll leave it be." 

"Well the house is clear. I'll be on my way now." I started toward the door when I was stopping by Marco grabbing my arm. "Why are you so determined to not stay here? I think I've proven I'm not going to hurt you by now." I sighed and look at him.  
"You really want to know?" He nodded. 

"Every group I've been in so far has died. I'm like a walking curse. I'd hate to see something happen to you too, so I'll just be on my way." 

Well Marco just laughed at that. "Jean, I'm sure that's just a horrible coincidence. We'll be fine. Please stay here for the night, I'd hate for you to be out there at night after you helped me." 

"It’s your funeral."  
\-----------  
A few hours later we had finished zombie proofing the house. This included covering the windows, making sure there weren't any other ways something could get in, and finding all our quick escape routes. After all this was done, we decided it was time for dinner.  
As you can probably imagine, food is pretty scarce in the apocalypse, so all we had was canned food. I had three cans of ravioli and Marco has some peaches, which we both decided go to Sunny. 

So there we were, sitting around some old candles we found in the house, eating our cold confections. Sitting in silence started to freak me out so I elected to ask some questions. "So what's your story?" 

He swallowed and looked up at me. "I was visiting my family when it happened. My mom got sick and went to bed. Later we all got ready to go to bed, and my dad went to their room to sleep. When he opened it my mom attacked him because she had turned. Sunny and I were scared and just grabbed our bags and ran. That's what we've been doing since: running and finding temporary places to stay. What about you? Got a tragic backstory?" 

"Same thing really; I was only sixteen at the time when it happened. My parents got attacked while out shopping so I had to run by myself. I joined different groups, all ending badly." 

He sighed and pulled Sunny close. "I guess we're just two unlucky-lucky people, huh?" I laughed at that. "Luckiest people in the world." I laid down, making sure I could still see both of them. "So how old are you anyways? 

Sunny decided that question was for her. "I'm three years old." Marco smiled fondly at her. "I'm eighteen; I had her when I was fifteen." Picking her up, he sat her on his lap. "She's my pride and joy. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her." 

I took in the sight before me, which was pretty damn adorable. At that moment I realized that I can't let anything happen to these two. "I'll help you, if that's okay. I don't want anything bad happening to her, or you. We can team up." 

He smiled warmly at me. "Sounds good. We should get some sleep now, though; never know what tomorrow will bring." 

No sooner had I said I would take first watch had he fallen asleep. Staying up wasn't so bad when I got to watch over two adorable freckled people. I think I could get used to this.


	2. You are my Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean realizes that they need a place to stay and rest, as running around the woods was just a heap of stress. He also might realize that Marco is kind of handsome.

Marco and I make a damn good team. After we became a group two weeks ago, we've learned a lot. He's learned that I hate not being able to see him, as evident by my mini meltdown after I couldn't find him, or Sunny, one night; and, I've learned that taking care of a child is difficult, even one as well behaved as Sunny. 

Let me tell you about that little ball of sunshine, pun definitely intended. She never complains about anything, especially about being hungry. Part of that is because I'd rather starve than hear her tummy growl, and also because she knows complaining will stress Marco out.  
There's our biggest problem: Marco stressing the fuck out. He's insanity protective of her, I mean, what dad wouldn't be, but that causes him to stress out a lot. Marco constantly checks to make sure she's full, not thirsty, doesn't have any bruises or cuts, and, what is probably the most important, happy. 

Being happy is the key. As you can imagine, depression can creep up onto very quickly in the world of the undead, so you have to find ways to make yourself happy. I was never good at this, even before the apocalypse. Marco and his daughter, on the other hand,seemed to be a giant ball of happiness. When he feels it's safe, he tells jokes or makes funny faces to make Sunny laugh. From there we all laugh, because who can resist the laughter of a small child. 

So let me bring you back to where we are now, walking through to woods trying to find food. Marco is carrying Sunny because we don't want her to trip on the underbrush and hurt her ankle. Food is almost impossible to come by without hunting and my small knife isn't taking down a deer. Using a bullet will only be for desperate measures, seeing how precious they are, and that fact that they attract those damn things. 

“Do you two have any specific place in mind, or are we just moving one place to the next?” I know it's odd to not have asked sooner, but I didn't really have time to care. 

“Not really. We try to avoid cities as much as possible, other than that we don't have a plan. You? Any family to get back to?”

At the mention of family I deflated. Getting over your family's death is almost impossible, especially one as gruesome and sudden as mine. “No, my parents were all I had.” 

“Sorry to bring it up.”

I was about to respond when I heard the crack of a dry twig to our left. Immediately, I pull my gun and turn to see the cause of the sound just to be greeted with at least eight zombies. I turn to see Marco shifting Sunny to hold her in front of him. 

“Run!” 

There was no point is wasting bullets and risking limbs, so I followed his order. I moved in front of him to make sure there wasn't anything ahead he could trip on. I scan the area looks for a place to lay low for a while. Even though those things aren't fast they don't just give up on you. 

After about ten minutes of running I decided we're far enough to take a break for a while. I stop to catch my breath and look back at Marco. If I was tired he certainly was. Sunny isn't that heavy, but running from the living dead with a three year old will take a toll on you.  
“Let's take a break,” I say as I pull out a water bottle. We pass it around until we all have our fill. Marco looks around, gauging the situation, before looking at me. “If you’re not dead set on a place I think we should just walk forward until we find a place to stay. Sound good?” I informed him that it was as good a plan as any. 

That's how we end up walking till nightfall without finding anywhere to sleep. This was one of the scariest things you could do during the apocalypse. Remember when you were a kid and you were scared of the dark, but it wasn't the dark but what you couldn't see. That's the exact feeling but it real. When you're a child you know a monster couldn't have really snuck into your bedroom, but now there's monsters all around. 

Dispute this issue, you still need sleep, so you have to decide who's more exhausted and let them take second watch. Marco would try to make you think he could run a marathon, but one look at the bags under his sleepy eyes would tell you he could fall asleep on command.  
Which he did. As soon as it was agreed that I would take first watch him and Sunny were out like a light. Watching them sleep gave me time to think of my current situation. There's been times where I've considered just leaving, but when I look at their sleeping freckled faces after thinking that I know I never could. 

Besides, Marco would probably hunt me down anyways, and that just means he could get hurt because of me. Being in a group is hard. We need to think of where to go. Walking around aimlessly can only work for so long. The stress of not knowing where you’re going to sleep each night wears on you, especially when you have a child to look after. Within the next week we will have to find a good place to stay.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next day we wake up and access our surroundings. The one good thing about sleeping is the woods is that it’s pretty in the morning when there isn’t a zombie ready to eat you. Marco wipes the sleep from his eyes and glances at me. “So what’s on the agenda today, Jean?” Standing up and stretching I mumble out “We need to find a place to stay,” in between my yawns, “This wandering around the woods crap isn’t going to cut it forever.”

“Sounds like a plan!” He gently nudged Sunny’s shoulder to wake her up. She lifted her head, looking at us with half lidded eyes. “Is everything okay, Daddy?” I told you she’s adorable. 

“Were okay, but we need to eat breakfast and get moving. Jean wants us to find a safe place to stay, so that’s our goal for today.” At the mention of food she perks up and gets ready to eat. We pull out a few cans of oranges we found in an abandoned car. Once we find a good base to stay at we need to get a hold of the whole food situation. Canned fruit a diet does not make. 

Finishing our fruit we packed up, picked a direction, and started walking. 

Our trek was thankfully uneventful. After running from a small pack of zombie you don’t need to encounter more. The best part about not seeing any zombies is that Marco can start making Sunny laugh with his cheesy jokes. “Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!” Yeah, that’s how bad they were, but she loved them so for a while he and I competed with who tell the best bad joke. 

“A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says he’ll serve the jumper cable as long as he doesn’t start anything!” 

“I went to the seafood dance club last week. I pulled a muscle!” 

“Why couldn’t the pony sing? He was a little hoarse.” 

We went on that for about ten minutes. Sunny didn’t understand half of them, but laughed just the same. It was the small moments like this that made me not only happy, but dread the future more. All this could be taken away at any second. I knew better than to share that thought, but I could tell Marco was thinking something similar. Why do things always have to from really happy to really sad? 

The joking came to an abrupt halt about twenty minutes later when we start seeing signs of life. There were bottles, cans, and food wrapper scattered across the ground. As if the world wasn’t bad enough without littering. The labels on the bottles were well worn so we could tell it wasn’t recent, but we go our weapons ready just in case. Twenty yards later we find the source of all the litter: a strip mall. 

Well that’s today’s big task checked off the list, though it adds a lot more. Checking a house is one thing, but checking through a whole mall is enough to drive a person insane. We take one glance at each other and decide that even if this place isn’t safe enough to be a permanent residence; it surely will have enough supplies to hold us over till the next place. 

We briskly made our way to the entrance of the closest entrance and bang on the door. Sunny stood behind us looking around to make sure nothing has to the chance to make a grand entrance without our knowledge. Not hearing anything rustle around I make my way inside. Marco stays outside to guard Sunny, read to come to my rescue if need be. The shop is just a small boutique. The only thing of interest was the children’s clothing section, which has a good assortment of clothes for our ball of sunshine.  
That’s how we went about the rest. An ice cream shop, a card store, craft supplies, a Chinese buffet, two more clothing stores, and one sparsely stocked camping store. Thankfully nothing more exciting than a curious rat happened. Once all the shops were officially cleared, we start collecting anything of value from each one. The highlights include: two boxes full of MREs, three blankets, raincoats, a few bullets, and most importantly some new clothes for Sunny.

The bouquet must have been preparing for fall because they had plenty of clean jackets and sweaters. Marco picked out some clothes for her and she happily changed. Sunny’s hair was still a bit messy, but she looked better in her clean terracotta sweater and plain jeans.  
Now that she had a new wardrobe, Marco and I hunted for our own. A shop three over had an assortment of men’s clothing which we picked through. I found a nice forest green thermal and some cargo pants. The Chucks were staying, as I couldn’t find anything that would be appropriate. As I was changing I notice a mirror in the corner of the store by the dressing rooms. Unsure, I walk toward it. I haven’t seen what I look like in over eight months. Looking at the mirror the first thing I notice is my hair. The bleach blond part of it has grown out also with my undercut. I run my fingers through it, seeing its length before allowing it to flop back down. Then I look at my face. My face looked gaunter, making my features even more sharp. A sprinkle of stubble had bloomed on my face as well. Sighing, I walk away; deciding could look a lot worse. 

Looking up I notice Marco had found a more appropriate attire as well; trading out the wife beater and shorts for jeans and three quarter length sleeves royal blue shirt. The color looked nice on his tanned skin. “There is a mirror here if you’re interested.” He seemed just as apprehensive as I had been. “If it’s any help I think you don’t look half bad.” He chuckled and walks up to the mirror and examines himself as I had done, and I take the time to look at him as well. His eyes were a nice warm brown, like coffee when you put cream in it. His freckles were more concentrated on the high points of his face, making his cheek bones almost entirely covering in them. He had a bit of stubble as well, but it just helped to outline his jaw bone. He looked really handsome.  
I shook myself from that thought. I didn’t need to develop feelings for someone that wouldn’t reciprocate them. Instead, I opt to go see what Sunny was up to. 

She was sitting with her backpack near the ties playing with her teddy bear. “Mind if I join you?” she didn’t even glance up before informing me that I could. “His name is Scottie. His bow is plaid which makes him Scottish so I that’s his name.” It took me about five second to process she was talking about her teddy bear. 

“That’s a nice name.” Normally I’d ask who gave it to her, but the risk of making her sad was too great. “Do you have any other toys?” When she shook her head no I make a noise of disapproval. “Well I guess we will have to fix that.”  
Before I could continue our conversation I heard a delightful tenor fill the room. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” Marco walked over with a bounce in his step singing the song. Sunny soon joined him. “You make me happy when my skies are grey. You’ll never know, dear how much I love you.” 

I lean my head back on the display behind me. If we can relax her for a while, I was going to soak it up as much as possible. 

“Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry its short, but i have a certain way I want each chapter to go. As always feel free to comment your criticisms! 
> 
> My Tumblr: http://jarco-otp.tumblr.com/


	3. You make me happy when my skies are grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few moments of happiness in Hell 
> 
> AKA the chapter where I try to develop the characters

I wake up the next morning to find breakfast had been made and Sunny is playing with her bear. Marco was stroking her hair with a fond look on his face. No matter what he was still a proud dad that loved his kid. I pick up the breakfast of rehydrated food next to me, trying to keep quiet as to not disturb the sight before me. Looks like I’m not very quiet because Marco looked up at me. The fond look in his eyes didn’t vanish though. 

“Good morning, Jean! Did you sleep well?”

I offered a small smile and nodded. “It’s nice to have a real place to sleep rather than the woods.”

“You can say that again.”

I directed my attention to Sunny, remembering my comment from the night before. She deserved to have more than an aging teddy bear for a toy. While there might not be a toy store in the mall, I’m sure I could find something for her. I used to forget toys everywhere as a kid. Kids in the apocalypse are no different. 

Swallowing the last bit of my breakfast, I stand up and stretch. “Hey Marco, I’m going to look around the building.” He tried to get up, but I held my hand in front of him. “I have my weapons with me and I’ll be within shouting distance. Don’t forget I was on my own before we met. I can handle myself.” The truth of the matter was that I wanted him to have a few times alone with his family. It could be easy to say that I’m part of it, but nobody wants some guy they barely know around them all the time.

Walking outside I scan the area making sure no zombies have wandered close. It looked safe so I decided to check out what was behind the mall. Inching near the back, I raise my knife and pick up a rock. Right before the turn to the back of the mall, I stand and listen. I didn’t hear anything, but I’m not big on taking chances. I throw the rock in hopes of making enough noise so if anything was there I’d see it before it saw me. After a minute of tense waiting, I decided there’s nothing there. Carefully I make my way around the corner.

The back of the mall had a strip of concrete running besides the building with overgrown grass to the other side. Doors were lined up neatly along the back of each business. I walk the back, keeping close to the wall, looking for anything of interest. Other than a few cardboard boxes, there wasn’t anything back there. I look out at the field behind it and light up. I had struck gold.

Sitting there was a swing set. Even if I couldn’t find toys for her, I’m sure Sunny would love to play on the swings. I walk over to the swings, hoping that I wouldn’t find any surprises. Reaching the swings I was happy to see that it was still in a reasonably good condition. I look around to make sure I was safe before I sit on it. It held my weight as a swung back and forth on it. Sunny was going to love it.

Looking around the small spot where the swing set lay I notice some discarded items. A little boy’s jacket lay to my left. I pick it up sadly, praying that he’d just forgotten it after a play date, when I see something under it. Two action figures and a Barbie sit on the ground. The doll’s blonde hair was dirty, but I was sure Sunny wouldn’t mind. I pick them up and walk around the swing one more time, making sure I wasn’t missing anything.

All I found was a pink crown and a gun. I sighed and picked up the gun. Must have been who dropped the Barbie.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I walk back to the boutique with my findings. Hearing me walk in, Marco’s head snapped up. Relief seemed to wash over him at seeing that I was alright. Standing up, he makes his way over to me.

“I was starting to get worried; anything interesting happen?” 

I show him the toys and gun while informing him about the swing. Smirking, he turns toward his daughter.

“Sunny, Jean has some things for you.”

She bounces over to me with excited eyes. I hoped she truly liked what I found. She’d lie and say she did if she didn’t. I turn to my bag and grab the three toys and pull them out to show her. Seeing them, her eyes light up. “These are for me?” I nod my head and she throws her small arms around my neck. “Thank you, Jean. I love them!”

“I’m glad you do. Do you know what else I found?” She shook her head no. “I found a swing set. If you’re good we can play on it later, sound good?”

“That sounds amazing! Thank you so much!”

“You’re very welcome. “

With that, I hand her the toys and she joyfully takes them from me and over to her bear, introducing the toys to each other. Kids are cute.

I stand up and go over to Marco. He gives me a wide smile.

“Thank you, for everything. You saved our lives and kept us safe, and now you make her so happy. How can we ever repay you?”

Snorting I shake my head. “You don’t. This is everything I want; to be safe and with people I care about.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder and I look up to make eye contact. He’s giving me that same fond look from before. My heart flutters in my chest for a second.

“You know something Jean? I’m glad you stayed.”

I smile back and hope I’m giving him the same look.

“Thank you.”

It's moments like this that I want to ask if he’s bisexual or anything of the sorts. I want to tell him that I’m gay, but will that just make things unnecessarily complicated? Everything is finally working out with us all, and I don’t want to ruin it with unneeded declarations of orientation.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Just like I promised, after lunch we carefully made our way to the swings. I was praying that nothing would go wrong. I just want her to have one nice day. One day where she can just be a kid again.

When we got to the swings without encountering anything. I silently thanked whatever force was giving us this luck. Sunny lit up at the sight of the swing and ran over to it. “Daddy, will you push me?”

“Of course I will, Sunshine, get on!”

She climbs onto the swing, readying herself to be pushed. Marco wasted no time in stepping up to gently push her back, sending her swinging forward. In typical child fashion she started a chant of “higher, Daddy, higher!”

Watching them made my heart swell with a strange pride. I leaned again the bar on the opposite side of her, smiling to myself. After a moment of watching them, I decided to get on the second seat and join her.

I hadn’t intended on swinging, just sitting, but Marco had other plans it seems. Soon I felt his hand on my back, pushing me like he was with Sunny. I look back at him and he’s smiling ear to ear. I smile back and say “higher, Marco, higher” which makes him laugh loud and infectious. Sunny and I follow his lead so that we were all laughing.

We go on like this for about fifteen minutes, the area behind the store filled with Sunny’s laughter, when she started to yawn. Noticing this, Marco announced that it was nap time, and she didn’t fight with him over it.

Getting back to the store he lays her down in her makeshift bed of the blankets we found and some soft clothes. We sit near her, watching her sleep, until I could feel my own eyelids start to droop down. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I was shocked that he didn’t push me off. Instead he responded by placing a blanket around my shoulder. I fell asleep to the sound of him breathing and Sunny’s soft snores.

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I wake up to Sunny talking to someone. I lift my head up from Marco’s shoulder and see her playing with her toys. She had the barbie sat up next to the bar and the two action figures in her hands. She was telling them stories and odd things that kids tell you. 

I had planned to just enjoy the moment, but then my stomach growled, signaling it was time for breakfast. “Good morning, Sunny! You have anything in mind for breakfast?” she looked up at me and smiled. 

“Good morning, Jean.” I took her not answering my question as not wanting to tell me her preference. I rummaged through our bags and found some canned fruit and opened one for each of us. Sitting across from her again, I set her can in front of her. 

She arranged the action figures with others and started eating. “You name the new ones yet?” I asked. 

She swallowed and looked up at me. “Yeah! I named them after us. The blonde one is Jean, the brown haired one is Marco and the Barbie is Sunny. Scotty likes them.” 

I give her a smirk. “I think it’s sweet you’d name one after me. Thank you.” 

“I wanted to name them after family. You keep us safe and make Daddy and I happy, and we love you. That makes you family.” 

I had to look away to keep from crying. It's one thing to have Marco say something like that, but Sunny? That's a whole other story. Kids are almost always blatantly honest. “Thanks kid. That means a lot to me.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

I few minutes later Marco had woken up. He thanked me for ‘making’ breakfast and making sure Sunny was okay. We ate in quite for a while, watching Sunny play and talk to us absently about her toys. 

We were more than a group at this point. We were a family. I then promised myself to keep them safe no matter what. Past groups be damned this time will be different. 

“Hey Marco?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m glad you made me stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is following this story! Only a few more chapters left. Tell me what you think so far. 
> 
> I'm sorry my writing style isn't very consistent, and I'm fairly certain my characterization is wrong. That being said, I hate when people don't finish their stories so I'm going to finish this one. You can't get better if you never try right? 
> 
> My tumblr: http://jarco-otp.tumblr.com/


	4. Please don't take my sunshine away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One a routine mission to get more food, things take a dark turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of blood and violence, read at your own discretion.

Ever since we found the strip mall things have slowed down. Our daily routine used to be to wake up and keep walking. Now that we no longer have to worry about where we're going to sleep at night, there's not much to do. 

The issue then arose that even though we have shelter, we were running out of food. Our rations were running thin. As per usual, Sunny got the most of each meal. Marco was giving up large portions of his food for her, making him start to look gaunt. 

“We have to look for food. We can go check the restaurant. They might still have some food in the storage closet.” 

Marco agreed with me and so we gathered our weapons and walked to the store. Sunny held Marco’s hand as we walked. We couldn't leave her behind, anything or anyone could come to the store in our absence. 

“Can we go play on the swings after this?” 

“Of course we can, sweetheart. Anything for you.” 

After that we were quite; only the sound of our feet hitting the pavement could be heard. I thanked whoever that that was the case. We hadn't encountered a zombie the entire time we've been here. I wasn't complaining, but the lack of undead activity put me on edge. 

We then stood in front of the Chinese restaurant. They surely would have some canned food in the back, maybe some noodles we could cook.

I knocked on the door, luring whatever was in there out. After a moment of nothing, I slowly open the door. The store was in complete disarray; people clearly had the same idea as us. The tables were flipped on their sides, chairs as well. The booths had been torn to shreds. Anything that wasn’t bolted down had either been taken or vandalized in some way. 

We slowly made our way to the back of the store where the kitchen was. Once inside we realized that we keep getting lucky. The kitchen had windows lining it, allowing natural light to be let in. The place had pots and pans throw all around, with something that looked like dried blood on the floor. We kept Sunny away from that area. 

Finally we came to our true destination: the supply closet. The door, like the floor, seemed to have dried blood on it. Marco and I gave each other a look of worry; though ultimately deciding we could handle whatever was behind the door. The door, though locked, was easy to get past with my basic lock picking skills; my years as a rebellious teen paying off. 

Slowly, I opened the door, gagging at the smell. It smelled like something had died in there. I point the flashing light inside and find that the shelves are lined with food.  
“How's it look?” Marco asked.

“Looks fine. It smells to high heaven, but I think the food inside must have rotted a bit. Let's grab what we can and get out. We can always come back.”

All three of us walked in, Marco and I readying our bags to collect everything. Sunny made her way around the bottom shelves, finding a few boxes of noodles and canned vegetables.

“Here you go, Dad.” 

Marco happily took everything from her and put it in his bag. Sunny was so eager to help, and this was a simple mission after all. 

Light had filtered in from the kitchen, showing that there was again dried blood on the floor. I followed the trail to the back of the closet with my eyes, right where Sunny was walking. I made the connection to late. I heard her scream then. 

At the sound of his daughters scream, we both ran to the back of the closet, weapons at the ready. An old and decaying zombie lay on the floor, teeth digging into the flesh of her shoulder. Marco froze at the sight, I didn’t. 

My knife was instantly in its skull. I didn’t stop once it was dead. I kept stabbing, seeing red. I saw that upturned table with a freckled man and his child hiding behind it. I saw them laughing. I saw Sunny laughing on the swings and naming her new toys. Her saying I’m part of her family. All of it, taken away because I didn’t pay attention to the clear warning signs. 

When I finally came to, I turn towards Sunny. She was crying and holding her shoulder. Blood poured from her wound. I didn’t know what to do other than take my shirt off and put pressure on the wound. 

She wasn’t going to make it. A bite meant she would die and turn. It was all my fault. 

Marco took her out of my arms and picked her up. “Let's go back home.” 

The way back was a nightmare. Sunny cried, not knowing what was going to happen to her. We didn’t have the heart to tell her. 

Once back at the boutique, we set down next to her toys handing her them. We knew we couldn’t save her, but we could make however long she had nice. 

“Daddy, can you sing the song?” Sunny was barely audible. She was losing blood faster and faster it felt. 

“Oh course, sweetheart, anything for you.” Marco said between tears. Then he began to sing, “The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms.” 

I started crying harder. Marco had laughed when I told him I was cursed. That nothing would go wrong, that we'll all be safe. Now this. All my fault. 

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.” Sunny eyes flickered shut then, giving her last breathe on the next verse. “You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.” 

She was gone. Marco sat there holding his dead three year old daughter. He was only eighteen, yet this had to happen to him. The one thing he loved so deeply, more than anything in the world, was dead. It was my fault. 

We both sat and cried for a bit, not knowing what to do. I’m not sure when he did it, but Marco made it where Sunny wouldn’t reanimate. 

Through our choked sobs we decided she needed a proper burial. The only place we could think of was the swings. We managed to find some shovels around the strip mall. Gathering her body and her toys we made our way to the swings. 

I dug the hole while Marco sat on the ground and stroked her hair. No man should have to dig his own child’s grave. 

When the grave was done, Marco gently lowered her into the grave, arranging her toys on her chest. It almost looked like she was just sleeping. The blood gave it away though. Her once warm, freckled skin now looked grey. Her brown curls matted with blood on her one side. 

This was the moment you're supposed to say some last words, but what was there to be said. The world killed the one ray of light in our lives. The one thing I had sworn to protect was gone. That it was my fault for not piecing things together. Marco couldn’t say anything either. We started filling the grave. 

Once filled Marco only said one thing: “I love you Sunshine.”

Back at the store we sat in silence. Everything is reminding us of what happened. Today went from a simple mission to get food to losing our little girl. The floor was slick with blood where she died. The areas memories tainted with blood. It was where she introduced me to her teddy bear, told me I was her family now. It was all gone. 

We found fresh clothes, not wanting to wear the reminders. We had just found this place, yet I knew it was time to leave. 

Marco didn’t say no the to suggestion, just getting up and following me out the door. We made one last stop by her grave, placing some wild flowers on top, and then kept walking. 

As we walked, Marco laced his hand with mine. “Things will get better, Jean. It will. We’ll find someplace new. We’ll be okay.” I wanted to ask why he was the one comforting me, only to realize that he was still a Dad. Dads comfort others, forgetting their own pain. 

“I’m sorry, Marco.” 

“I know you think this was your fault, but it's not. I was the parent. I saw the same things you did. We can play the blame game or we can try to move on. Also, I still don’t think you’re cursed. These things just happen, Jean.” 

During all this, Marco had my hand in a death grip. He was good at staying strong. I had nothing to add to that without sounding like a jerk. I mean, the guy's kid just died and he’s worried about me. I’d keep him safe, no matter what. 

We walked for about an hour, finally finding a new place to stay. It was an old record shop. 

We swept the place, being extra vigilant, to find it was empty. It was going to be our new home for now. 

We made our way to the office, finding a record player on top of a desk. Marco sat on the floor behind the desk, already looking like he was asleep. I joined him, leaning my head on his shoulder. Seconds later, I felt his arm around me. We fell asleep like that, both holding back tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sorry this took so long to update, but between it being sad and lack of inspiration, I was having a hard time writing it. I'm back though! Thank you to everyone who has stuck around.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I will try to update as often as i can. Feel free to give any feedback you want! 
> 
> My tumblr: http://jarco-otp.tumblr.com/


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